My thoughts on the ambience? Renovate. And turn up the damn lighting.

Now to the food:

Fried Shiu Mai
My eyes widened with excitement as our Fried Shiu Mai arrived at the table. They looked at least mildly similar to the dim-sims from the take-away near my parents place that I love. Though not quite as large, and they didn’t taste quite as good, but certainly still miles ahead of anything else i’d found in Melbourne thus far.

Chilli Prawns - Malaysian Style
Encouraged by the taste of my dim-sim, I then spooned a generous helping of the Chilli Prawns into my rice bowl. I tasted…. and waited…. but no chilli hit came. I tasted.. prawn. And some kind of sauce. At best, i’d say it’s more of a sweet and sour kind of chilli prawn dish, (minus chilli?) of which there is no such thing in any authentic Malaysian cookbook i’ve read. And what was that they said about it being their signature dish? Oh dear.

Special Mixed Curry
My first thought about this dish was Is that my missing Stainless Steel Mixing Bowl? Not that i’m too fussy about presentation, but this would be the first time ever that a restaurant has served up a dish without making any attempt to make something look mildly presentable. (Or was there method in the madness?)

Turning my attention to the curry itself, I could barely make out what the pieces of mixed meat were. And my tastebuds didn’t help me out any - it all tasted the same. And what of the taste you may ask? Without resorting to vulgarities, lets just say that it wasn’t nice.

When I pay $18.80 for a curry - of any kind - I do expect some quality ingredients, and not for it to be a mixture of cheap curry powder, water, salt, and maybe a dash of coconut milk. Though two ingredients they did add plenty of were Oil and Turmeric. I think if they’d put this curry in anything other than a stainless steel mixing bowl, it would have been glowing fluroescent yellow - even in the half-light.

For the uninitiated who may say ‘Well that’s probably how Malaysian Curry is supposed to be’, let me tell you - it’s not. It’s more likely the ideal recipe for quick ‘n’ cheap nasty curry. Louis, who is Malaysian, had never tasted curry like this. I, who visited Malaysia last year, hadn’t come across anything like this in my travels either.

Perhaps the chef (who may or may not have been here since 1973) should go back to Malaysia for a refresher course on how to make Malaysian Cuisine. Properly.

I highly recommend Golden Orchids if you want a couple of dim-sims and maybe some fried rice, perhaps even some Satay (I don’t know, but no guarantees, we didn’t try it..) but for anything else i’d look elsewhere.

As a Malaysian, i must say that i was absolutely embarassed by the quality of food in Golden Orchids. But i am getting ahead of myself. Let’s start from the beginning:

Golden Orchids is known for being one of the oldest Malaysian restaurants in Melbourne, and i could not pass by an opportunity to test out their cooking. The decor was ok, for a place this old. Very nolstalgic. We had a table upstairs. Lighting was a bit dim for my liking, and it was just “dim”, not even “mood-lighting dim”.

We ordered a two fried dim sums as a starter, and a Malaysian Mixed Curry plus Malaysian-style Chilli Prawns. The latter two items were supposedly their famous dishes, being mentioned in the foreword in the menu, so i thought we should try them out for our inaugral visit.

Fried Dim Sums: To be more accurate, fried shiu mais. These were nice enough. Good size, cheap price, and didn’t taste of gluten or fatty pork. Good start to the meal.

Malaysian Style Chilli Prawns: This dish is ok - nothing outstanding. Kinda done in the style of Singapore Chilli Crabs, with a slightly sweetish tomato base with chilli and egg whites. The prawns were very fresh, and by itself this dish can be decent. However, for a signature dish and this kind of price tag, this is slightly disappointing and not acceptable. I am confident that there are plenty of street stalls in Malaysia that can do a better job. In terms of authenticity, this falls short of capturing the taste of home.

Malaysian Mixed Curry: I saw chicken, pork, beef and prawn curry on the menu and thought to myself - since they all use the same curry base, why not just sample them all? Alas, the greatest disappointment is, the curry base itself is only the start of many problem’s with this dish. For starters, the curry was served in an unremarkable serving bowl - the type that you use to beat eggs and mix ingredients in. Secondly, the curry tasted like it was made from a powder base. I tried to convince myself that the restaurant could do better than that, but my taste buds couldn’t deny the packaged curry flavor. Thirdly, the slices of meat were done very strangely. In what must be an attempt to make them more tender, the meat ended up being slimy and much too soft. To top it all off, the curry was overly oily. If it weren’t for the dim lighting, this would have been immediately obvious. There was actually a thick layer of oil floating on to when i looked closely. As a truly Malaysian, i am ashamed that they call this a Malaysian-style curry that is supposedly the legacy of their old chef.

On the whole, this isn’t a great experience. I wanted to like the place, but i have to be extra harsh since this isn’t how Malaysian cuisine is supposed to be represented. Prior to this, i have heard from people that the satay doesn’t taste great, and that only one or two dishes are worth it. Now that i have experienced it myself, there might be some truth in those negative reviews, as i find it hard to imagine how they can do anything else properly if they can screw up something as simple as curry, and call a ho-hum Chilli Prawns their signature dish.

Avoid unless all other Malaysian restaurants are closed, or if you want to snack on good fried dim sums.

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